Friday, December 9, 2011

On Self Checkout Seth....

The third and final installment of my People Who Annoy me series is about Self Checkout Seth.  Just like Parking Shark and Drive Thru Delores, Self Checkout Seth is a burger, fries and drink short of a Happy Meal.  All they have rolling around in that noodle of theirs is the cheap plastic Happy Meal toy.

Self checkouts were invented to be efficient, save people time and ultimately cut down on the number of cashiers needed.  This in turn saves the store money and allows them to pass those savings on to you the customer in the form of higher prices and smaller portion sizes.  But the inventor of the self checkout failed to take into account self checkout Seth.  Here's how to identify Self Checkout Seth:

1.  They have 300 items in their buggy and are unable to locate even one of the bar codes in under 5 minutes.
2.  It takes them 5 minutes to transfer the scanned item into a bag, sending the self checkout computer into hysterics.  They never quite figure out why the computer doesn't care much for them, even after having the same issue 300 times.  I always want to scream "Quit fondling the damned thing and put it in the bag!"
3.  Like Drive Thru Delores they have to neatly fold their receipt and put it and their money in their wallet before even thinking about getting out of the way for the next guy. The process of folding that receipt makes it look like they're doing origami; it takes them forever.

The only self check out that I envision working for Self Checkout Seth is some type of conveyor belt that scans his stuff automatically, bags it for him, grabs his wallet and then swipes his card.  Short of that I'm afraid that Self Checkout Seth is here to stay; right there in front of me at the checkout line.

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