On the female Rolodex....

Women are unique creatures.  I wrote before about how men have a situational disability commonly referred to as selective hearing.  Women have selective hearing too, but along with that they have the uncanny ability to remember every single time that you've ever made then angry; they have selective memory.  When they get mad they turn into Rain Man.  They remember exact dates, locations, weather conditions, what you were wearing, everything.  If you could hear what was going on inside a woman's head right before she goes all Chuck Norris on you would you would hear something that sounds like a Rolodex being flipped.  This is because like a computer searching for data they are accessing the memories of every single time you've ever made them angry.

What's funny is that they can't remember what day Big Bang Theory comes on no matter how many times you tell them.  They can't remember that you told them three times that you were going to a football game next weekend, or that you are traveling for business in two weeks.  They can't remember where they put your camera or how that dent got on their car.  They can't remember how to work the DVD player to save their lives.  Basically they can't remember anything except the things that you've done wrong. Sometimes I think that if you want a woman to remember something you should wedge that information in between a couple of insults because then it would be set and they would never forget it.

As mentioned in a previous post they also won't just come out and tell you what they want.  When they want a sandwich they will say "doesn't a sandwich sound good?"  If they want you to turn the lights out they will say "wouldn't it be good if those lights were off?" And of course if they want an ice cream they ask you if you want one.  Until you have been married long enough to them to understand what this all means, you end up in a lot of trouble.  This video is an example of what ends up happening when you mistake "doesn't an ice cream sound good?" with "stop and get me an ice cream":