You've probably seen the shorts and pants with stuff written on the butts. I don't really understand the rationale behind them; I personally don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to my buttocks, nor do I want my daughter drawing attention to hers, but to each his own. In case you don't know what I'm referring to, here's an example:
I took a class or two in Quantitative Business Analysis when I was getting my Bachelor's in Business Administration at a highly prestigious business school (Spoiler alert: I've just started my sales pitch, the first part of which is to point out and grossly exaggerate my business qualifications) and came up with a chart that I believe accurately reflects potential assvertising revenue projections. Here is the chart:
Don't ask me to interpret this chart because that would just confuse and disorient you, and I don't want you to be confused or disoriented just yet, that comes later. The important thing here is that it's a pretty chart, and pretty charts sell. All that you really need to understand is that this is a cottage industry in a growth market. There is a ton of low hanging fruit out there and I expect incremental growth if you're willing to take it to the next level and think outside of the box. I just used six catch phrases in the last two sentences, which should illustrate to you that I know what the heck I'm talking about.
So I'm looking for business partners, people who are willing to absorb all of the risk in exchange for the empty promise of future rewards. It's time to quit working for the man and instead make the man work for you. This is a limited time offer, so don't miss out on this exciting opportunity. Supplies are limited and callers are standing by.
Disclaimer: Offer not available in Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico. Past performance is not indicative of future results, people can and will lose money. Contents may be hot. Exposure to this offer may cause lightheadedness, hair loss and trouble breathing.